From Hawaii to Kirksville: Culture Shock!

14 Years Old, Leaving Vermont to Hawaii

At 14, leaving Vermont and the East Coast was a welcome change from what had been a rather challenging childhood, to put it mildly.

I was told months before leaving for Hawaii: "Culture shock is a thing. People who move to Hawaii from 'the mainland' aren't ready for the culture in Hawaii."

Hawaii was more laid-back and friendly, and the mindset was quite different from what I had experienced as a child in Vermont and California.

But culture shock? I was still young. It was the most welcome change I had ever experienced.

The first time I tried Spam, it was in a snack called "Spam Musubi." So I thought, at first, that Spam was an oily fish.

I didn't realize it was mystery meat masquerading as sushi.

40+ Years Old, Leaving to Kirksville, MO. Now THAT'S Culture Shock.

As a child, I never experienced culture shock. As an adult moving to Missouri after so many years in Hawaii? It was the electric chair of culture shock.

Completely Different

1: Jewish Rabbis Everywhere? Oh, These Are Amish People...

On the flight over, we saw a lot of men dressed nicely and wearing old-fashioned hats.

I thought they were Jewish rabbis. My wife did, too.

It was the equivalent of a Haole (white person) ignorantly assuming everyone with slanted eyes is Chinese, when in reality they could be any one of 23 different Asian races. That's me still sounding white.

It wasn't until we were shopping in Aldi for the first time that my wife spoke up and said:

"I think these are Amish people..."

So, being ignorant and uncultured about the mainland, I assumed the bottom of Pennsylvania had broken off and drifted southwest to what is now Missouri.

2: Alan Jackson: Where I Come From, It's Cornbread and Chicken

In Walmart: cornbread and gravy in large abundance. What I was used to: Costco: Sashimi in large abundance.

Huge difference.

3: Jeff Foxworthy Wasn't Joking. He Was Dead Serious.

The surprise was not that Northeast Missouri had a distinct culture. The surprise was how many things I had assumed were comedy stereotypes turned out to be ordinary parts of daily life. Country music, trucks, hunting, church events, weather reports, trailer parks.

Those were all themes from Foxworthy's stand-up comedy routine that I had seen in my first year here.

Very surreal.

One of the Last Good American Economies

Hawaii had become the most expensive state by the time we moved to Missouri.

Kirksville, MO, by comparison, had a balanced and livable economy -- the kind that is dying in the United States.

Of all the changes we experienced, this was the most amazing. Somehow, rural Missouri is an economic high ground amid the rising cost of living across the United States.

So, again, to my great surprise, what did I find? More people like me arriving from all over the USA to this very same place for the very same reason.

A Special Surprise: Ohana Grill Moves In

Our family misses Hawaii, although the blessings of Kirksville are without question.

We were especially excited when Ohana Grill moved in.

You have to try these guys. I suggest the Kalua Pig if you are into Missouri's culture of BBQ.

Ohana Bar and Grill is authentic Hawaiian BBQ. The owners are from Honolulu, and the menu is the real deal.

We've been going there often to enjoy their food.

If you ever go, at the very least:

TRY THE SPAM MUSUBI!

(Spam is not a fish, btw)