Ancient Web: Graeme Cole Tested Whether You Can Nail Jelly to a Wall

Part of the Ancient Web Collection.

People call an impossible job 'like nailing jelly to a wall.' Graeme Cole thought there was a rather serious gap in the evidence: had anybody bothered to test the proverb?

Visit Nailing Jelly to a Wall: Is It Possible?.

The original page is an exceptionally thorough joke presented as a laboratory report. Cole documents the materials—Hartley's jelly cubes, a piece of timber, a hammer, and three-inch nails—then works through preparation, measurements, multiple trials, observations, and a conclusion. The photographs are essential, because the thing he describes is exactly as undignified as it sounds.

Twelve nails and still no success

The first trial uses concentrated jelly cubes straight from the package. These stick to the vertical wood without help, so a nail through one proves little. Cole labels that effort cheating, then prepares a full-strength jelly according to the instructions: a pint of mixture, cooled overnight in a dessert bowl.

The resulting wobbling mass cannot be lifted intact, so he deposits it on a horizontal plank and drives nails through it before raising the board. Five nails do not work. Neither do nine. Eventually twelve nails still cannot hold the jelly together; it cracks and slides to the floor.

A smaller portion is tried next. Cole constructs a semicircle of extra nails to catch falling pieces, but it too collapses within about half a minute. The conclusion: the old saying survives a practical test, at least under those carefully described conditions.

The page is much more than a one-day joke because Cole kept adding updates. He dates the experiment to June 2005, between his final university exams and graduation. An October 2006 note wrestles with the British meaning of 'jelly' and the American 'Jell-O' distinction. In February 2007, a link from Boing Boing and then a b3ta newsletter brought a sudden audience; Cole reports thousands of visits that day.

A 2023 note explains that he removed broken links while trying to preserve the feel of the old page. That is unusually direct evidence of a webmaster balancing link-rot repairs against historical authenticity.

The experiment did not advance materials science. It showed what could happen when somebody combined a silly question, real effort, photos, and a freely accessible homepage.

Explore the original photographs, failures, and later updates.

Part of the Ancient Web Collection.